I used to believe that if you picked up a skunk by his tail, he could not spray. I’ve changed my mind. This alteration was caused by happenings last spring.
I was looking down, walking along in one of our pastures, when all of a sudden, I saw a black and white object on the ground. There hunched a small skunk, tail in the air, glaring at me malevolently. I froze instantly, and my heart rate rose dangerously high.
For quite a while, we eyeballed each other, until he relaxed and continued crunching on the cricket he had captured. I relaxed also, to a certain extent, but continued to hold still.
The skunk finished his interrupted snack and started poking about in the weeds for the deceased cricket’s fellows. Once, after a particularly energetic sniff, he stuck his head into a hole in the weeds where he momentarily could not see me. Immediately I took advantage of the situation, and, after a swift step forward, I hoisted aloft the astounded skunk.
He pedaled vigorously in empty air and opened and shut his mouth several times in a silent hiss.
I surveyed him at eye level with goodwill toward all skunks that allow themselves to be caught this easily and cleanly. My goodwill turned to horror and nausea as he suddenly spritzed me squarely in the face and over the front of my shirt. I don’t know how he did it since he was facing me, but I didn’t waste time wondering. Instantly I ended the skunk’s short sojourn in my hand, and he described dizzily whirling circles across the pasture.
I raced for the house, but on the way there, I wondered if it would be a good idea to go in.
I did not have to decide. I met Dad coming out of the house. For some reason, he retreated hastily into the house, and I heard the decisive sound of the bolt shooting home. He stared questioningly at me through a protective sheet of glass as I hollered to him the information he had already guessed. A few moments later, he reappeared and opened and shut the door hastily, and a bottle of soap somersaulted toward me. Then he emphatically motioned toward the pond.
Only after violent scrubbing and using the whole bottle of soap was I able to make my face and arms smell slightly better. And my shirt has always retained the faint aroma of skunk.
Editor’s Note: Watch the August issue for an easy way to remove skunk smell. We first printed the recipe with a story in the March 2008 issue. Soon after, we received testimonials from others who found the information very timely. One boy, like Jethro, was sprayed in the face. Several hours later he went to a church service, and folks would never have known if he hadn’t told them.